Murdoch said the hardest moral work happens before you ever choose anything

Iris Murdoch argued that moral philosophy had become obsessed with the moment of choice or action, while ignoring something more important: how honestly we see other people in the first place. She called truly attending to someone outside your own ego 'unselfing,' and believed a person who has learned to look clearly and lovingly at the world barely needs to deliberate — the right action follows naturally.

— Iris Murdoch, The Sovereignty of Good — 1970
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