Every polite phrase is secretly a negotiation to protect someone's ego

Linguists Penelope Brown and Stephen Levinson argued politeness isn't just manners - it's constant repair work protecting people's 'face', their public self-image. Asking 'could you maybe...' instead of issuing a bare command cushions a threat to the listener's autonomy, while a compliment repairs a threat to their need for approval. The theory predicts, with striking accuracy, exactly when a language gets indirect and when it doesn't bother.

— Penelope Brown and Stephen C. Levinson, Politeness: Some Universals in Language Usage — Cambridge University Press, 1987
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